Using Your Safe Tech Plan
Building a Safe Conversation
Identifying Misuse of Tech
Identify No Tech Zones
Safety Script
Our Safe Word
Identify Yes Tech Zones
Think of Safe Adults
Reaching Out to Community Resources

Last Updated: March 15, 2026

The BC Society of Transition Houses’ Safe Tech Plan is an interactive tool for children, youth, caregivers, and support workers. It is designed to address situations where a current or former partner is misusing a child or youth’s technology to stalk, monitor, harass, or surveil a survivor, often after separation.

This tool helps families and support workers:

Identify signs that a child’s device may be monitored or misused.
Understand digital risks connected to family violence.
Open safe, age-appropriate conversations with children and youth.
Co-create practical technology safety strategies together.

The Safe Tech Plan centers the child or youth’s voice and autonomy, while supporting caregivers to respond in ways that are trauma-informed and focused on safety.

It can be used to raise concerns, ask questions about a device, adjust a safety plan if something changes, and prevent further misuse of technology.

If something in this guide is no longer up to date, or you have any questions, please reach out to techsafe@bcsth.ca with your concerns.

Using Your Safe Tech Plan

You can choose the safest way to use or review your plan:

Review it together online. You can complete the Safe Tech Plan using this guide or fill it out online with a trusted adult. If it feels safe, you may take a screenshot to keep a copy.
Download and print this workbook (only if safe). Save it only on a device that the unsafe parent or caregiver cannot access.
Review without saving. If keeping a copy does not feel safe, you can review the plan together and then close the browser when finished.

There is no one “right” way. Choose the option that feels safest for you.

Step 1: Building a Safe Conversation

Hard conversations can sometimes feel confusing, uncomfortable, or even very scary. That’s why it helps to set some shared ground rules before starting a conversation.

These rules are meant to make the conversation feel safe and supportive. They can be changed anytime, so they work better for everyone.

Here are some examples of ground rules:

Be Present: Put away distractions like TV, phones, or games so we can focus on each other.
Take Turns: Let the other person speak without interrupting. Questions can come after.
Stay Open-Minded: Don’t jump to conclusions before hearing the whole story. We are here to understand.
Listen First: Wait for the person with the concern to finish talking before offering solutions or advice.
Judgement-Free Zone: This is a safe space where we can talk without worrying about getting in trouble or making the other person feel bad.
It’s Not Your Fault: Remind each other that if someone misuses your devices or technology, it is never your fault. No one should make anyone feel unsafe when using a phone, tablet, computer, etc.

Tip: Decide on a comfortable space or location that works for everyone when having this conversation (kitchen, living room couch, going for a walk, at a park, etc.).

Step 2: Identifying Misuse of Tech

Sometimes, a caregiver may use their child’s phone, tablet, or other device in ways that are not safe. If this is happening to you, this can feel confusing, scary, or upsetting.

The signs below are examples of ways technology might be misused to watch, pressure, or gather information about you and your other parent. If any of these are happening, it is not your fault, and you are not alone. There are safe adults and support workers who can help you understand what is happening and use this plan to help you feel safer.

Signs of Misuse of Your Tech:

Feeling confused, upset, scared or worried after getting messages or notifications on a device from one of your caregivers.
Feeling pressured by a caregiver to turn on the camera or show a location when it does not feel safe, or you’ve been asked not to.
An adult pressuring you to share confidential information about your family’s stay in a transition house or new place, such as sharing the address or location.
The camera or microphone light on your device turns on or off on its own.
The unsafe adult knows things that you have never shared.
The device battery is draining fast, even when not using the device much.

Step 3: Identify No Tech Zones

“No Tech Zones” are places or times where you choose not to use devices.
If you are worried that a device may be misused to cause harm, avoiding technology in certain spaces can increase safety, privacy, and comfort.

Some examples may include:

Common areas (like living rooms, dining rooms, kitchens, or playrooms) in your home if you’re staying in a Transition House or Safe Home. Keeping devices out of shared spaces can help protect everyone’s privacy and safety.
During conversations about safe tech planning. This helps make sure private safety plans stay private.
Car rides to or from a place where you don’t want the offending parent to know like a safe home or transition house. Limiting device use during travel can reduce risks if someone is trying to monitor location or listen in.

Every situation is different. “No Tech Zones” should be chosen carefully and in a way that supports safety without creating fear or stress. You can work with a trusted adult or support worker to decide what makes the most sense for you.

Our No Tech Zones:

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Step 4: Safety Script

Sometimes, a parent may ask a child or youth to do something with technology that feels unsafe, like sharing private information, turning on a camera, showing a location, or spying on another parent.

A safety script is a short sentence you can use to respond in the moment. It can help you set a boundary, delay the conversation, or end it safely.

Important: This step should always be completed with a trusted adult. Every situation is different. Your safety comes first, and sometimes the safest response may be short, neutral, or meant to end the conversation quickly.

Here are some examples:

“I can’t do that.”
“I’m not comfortable with that.”
“I don’t know.”
“I’ll let you know.”
“Having trouble hearing you, I’ll talk to you later.”
“I have to go do homework.”
“I need to ask first.”

Step 5: Our Safe Word

A safe word is a special word or phrase you choose with a trusted adult. It is a quiet way to say, “I need help,” without explaining everything out loud.

If you ever feel unsafe, worried, or think someone may be listening or watching through your device, you can use your safe word. Using the safe word means you are asking for support, and you will be met with care, not trouble or blame.

A safe word helps you and your trusted adult work together to figure out what is happening and use this tool to plan to stay safe now and in the future.

Our safe word is: _________________

Here are some examples of how you can use your safe word with your trusted adult. The safe word in this example is tacos.

“Hey, can we talk about tacos for a minute?”
“I forgot to tell you something about tacos.”
“Can you help me with my project about tacos right now?”
“Can we have taco night soon?”
“Can you check on the tacos for me?”
“I think I forgot to eat my tacos at your place.”

Step 6: Identify Yes Tech Zones

Take time to decide where it feels safest to use your device.
These are places where using technology is low risk and can help you feel more comfortable and in control.

“Yes Tech Zones” are spaces that respect everyone’s safety and privacy.

This may look different depending on where you are. What feels safe at school might be different from what feels safe at home or in the community.

You can ask yourself:

Is this a place where I feel calm and not rushed?
Is this a space where people respect privacy?
Is this a place where it is ok to use technology?
Is this somewhere I could ask for help if I needed it?

Choosing where you use your device can be part of your safety plan, now and in the future.

Our Yes Tech Zones

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Step 7: Think of Safe Adults

Safe adults are trusted people you can contact if you feel unsafe, worried, or just need someone to talk to.

A safe adult is someone who:

Listens without blaming you.
Takes your concerns seriously.
Helps you think about next steps.
Works with you to help keep you safe.

Some examples of safe adults might include:

A parent or caregiver.
A grandparent or other family member.
A teacher or school staff member.
A school counsellor.
A coach.
A neighbour you trust.
A support worker.
A transition house or shelter staff member.

You can think about:

Who do I feel comfortable talking to?
Who has helped me before?
Who can I reach quickly if I need help?

You may choose more than one safe adult. It can be helpful to have a few options in case one person is not available.

My Safe Adults:

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Step 8: Reaching Out to Community Resources

Sometimes you may need help from people outside your home or school. Community resources are services designed to support safety, listen without judgment, and help you figure out next steps.

Reaching out is not about getting someone in trouble. It is about getting support.

Here are some resources that might be helpful (Intimate images marked with an *):

Resource: BC Civil Resolution Tribunal (CRT)(*)
- Organization name: BC Civil Resolution Tribunal (CRT)
- What is it: Explains legal options and provides guidance for people whose images have been shared or threatened to be shared without their consent.
- Who is the resource for: Caregiver, Youth

Resource: Child and Youth Legal Centre (*)
- Organization name: Society for Children and Youth of BC
- What is it: Child and Youth Legal centre provides free, confidential legal advice, advocacy and representation for children and youth in areas such as family law, child protection and human rights.
- Who is the resource for: Children, Youth, Caregiver

Resource: Compass: Navigating non-consensual image sharing (*)
- Organization name: BC Society of Transition Houses (BCSTH)
- What is it: An interactive guide that includes resources and support options for individuals whose intimate images have been shared or threatened to be shared without consent, or when supporting someone affected.
- Who is the resource for: Caregiver, Youth

Resource: Intimate Images Protection Service (*)
- Organization name: Government of British Columbia
- What is it: Support and resources for people living in British Columbia that have been affected by the non-consensual sharing or threatening of sharing their intimate images. This page includes safety planning, reporting options along with legal pathways to have images removed or access protection.
- Who is the resource for: Caregiver, Youth

Resource: Intimate Images Protection Service (*)
- Organization Name: Government of British Columbia
- What is it: Explains the legal protections and available supports in British Columbia for people whose intimate images have been shared or threatened to be shared without consent, including reporting options, safety steps and where to get help.
- Who is the resource for: Youth, Caregiver

Resource: Need Help Now (Canada-Wide)
- Organization name: Canadian Centre for Child Protection
- What is it: Provides information and support for youth dealing with the sharing or threat of intimate images, including steps to stay safe, report harmful content, get help removing images and accessing support services.
- Who is the resource for: Children, Youth

Resource: Online Gaming: Privacy Risks and Strategies
- Organization name: BC Society of Transition Houses (BCSTH)
- What is it: Provides information for youth on privacy and safety risks in online gaming along with practical strategies to help children and youth reduce risks and stay safe while gaming.
- Who is the resource for: Youth, Caregiver

Resource: Online Safety Resources (Canada-Wide)
- Organization name: Canadian Centre for Child Protection
- What is it: Offers information about new technology and how to protect yourself when navigating the digital world. Includes educational resources for parents, children, and youth.
- Who is the resource for: Children, Youth, Caregivers

Resource: PEACE For Canadian Youth and Children: A Roadmap
- Organization name: BC Society of Transition Houses (BCSTH)
- What is it: Resource for supporting children and youth in women’s shelters and transition houses.
- Who is the resource for: Support Worker

Resource: Preserving Digital Evidence Toolkit
- Organization name: Tech Safety Canada
- What is it: Provides guidance to caregivers, youth and support workers navigating technology facilitated gender-based violence on ways to preserve digital evidence of harmful and abusive behaviour.
- Who is the resource for: Youth, Caregiver, Support Worker

Resource: Relationship Spectrum
- Organization name: Love is Respect
- What is it: Provides an overview of what a healthy, unhealthy or abusive relationship looks like and ways to create a personal safety plan for school, home or online.
- Who is the resource for: Children, Youth, Caregiver

Resource: Secure Your Tech
- Organization name: Tech Safety Canada
- What is it: Provides a step-by-step guide in securing various types of technological devices along with additional resources for securing home technology, and safety considerations when navigating a digital breakup.
- Who is the resource for: Children, Youth, Caregiver, Support workers

Resource: Tech Safety Plan
- Organization name: ESafety Commissioner (Australian Government)
- What is it: Offers a step-by-step guide for support workers providing technology related safety planning to children and youth who are facing technology facilitated abuse in an intimate partner violence or family violence context.
- Who is the resource for: Support Worker

Resource: Tech Safety Planning Checklist
- Organization name: BC Society of Transition Houses (BCSTH)
- What is it: Technology safety planning checklist for individuals navigating violence through the misuse of their technology.
- Who is the resource for: Support Worker, Caregiver, Youth

Resource: Technology Glossary
- Organization name: Refuge (UK Based)
- What is it: Glossary of commonly used technology terms.
- Who is the resource for: Caregiver, Support Worker

Resource: Technology Safety for Women and Children: Legal Remedies for Stalking and Cyberstalking
- Organization name: BC Society of Transition Houses (BCSTH)
- What is it: Provides an overview of stalking, including common behaviours, risk indicators, safety planning strategies and legal remedies to help support workers respond to and assist individuals experiencing tech related stalking.
- Who is the resource for: Caregiver, Youth, Children, Support Worker

Resource: Victim Link BC (*)
- Organization name: Government of British Columbia
- What is it: Available 24/7 for confidential, multilingual service across BC and the Yukon. Call or text them toll-free at 1-800-563-0808.
- Who is the resource for: Caregiver, Youth

Resource: Youth Black Book
- Organization name: Surrey Schools
- What is it: Online guide to youth resources in Surrey, Langley, Delta, Maple Ridge and White Rock. Provides youth-oriented services related to violence prevention, bullying, health, etc.
- Who is the resource for: Caregivers, Youth, Support Workers

Feedback: This resource is still growing, and please help us make it better. Let us know if something is missing or if you have suggestions on what could help other young people dealing with technology misuse by a family member. Please complete this short feedback form. Thank you very much.

If you are experiencing tech abuse, you are not alone. Find support in your community by connecting with a BC Society of Transition Houses Member Program or check out our other safety resources at techsafebc.bcsth.ca.

©BC Society of Transition Houses, Tech Safe BC Project, 2026. We encourage others to share this material, provided BC Society of Transition Houses is acknowledged

Safe Tech Plan

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